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<!doctype html>
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<link rel="profile" href="https://gmpg.org/xfn/11">
<title>Annie's Recovery & Knitting Blog – Can You Burn A Heretic With Radiation?</title><link rel="preload" as="font" href="https://www.modeknit.com/wp-content/themes/responsiveblogily/fonts/fontawesome-webfont.woff2?v=4.7.0" crossorigin><link rel="preload" as="font" href="https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/lato/v24/S6uyw4BMUTPHjx4wXg.woff2" crossorigin><link rel="preload" as="font" href="https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/lato/v24/S6u9w4BMUTPHh6UVSwiPGQ.woff2" crossorigin><link rel="preload" as="font" href="https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/merriweather/v30/u-440qyriQwlOrhSvowK_l5-fCZM.woff2" crossorigin><link rel="preload" as="font" href="https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/merriweather/v30/u-4n0qyriQwlOrhSvowK_l52xwNZWMf6.woff2" crossorigin><style id="wpr-usedcss">img.emoji{display:inline!important;border:none!important;box-shadow:none!important;height:1em!important;width:1em!important;margin:0 .07em!important;vertical-align:-.1em!important;background:0 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<article id="post-6745" class="posts-entry fbox blogposts-list post-6745 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-bicycle-2 category-leukemia category-travel category-uofm-hospital">
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<h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/08/31/new-chemo/" rel="bookmark">New Chemo</a></h2> <div class="entry-meta">
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<span class="posted-on">Posted on <a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/08/31/new-chemo/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published updated" datetime="2020-08-31T09:52:25-06:00">August 31, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.modeknit.com/author/modeknit/">Annie Modesitt</a></span></span> </div>
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<p>In two days I turn 59, which is older than many of my family members were able to make, but I’m definitely feeling like a celebration! I’ve ordered a cake from Ben & Jerry’s, I intend to wear a party hat to my chemo / infusion / lab draws on Thursday, and I also intend to grab onto every single birthday I’m fortunate enough to have from this point onward.</p>
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<article id="post-6743" class="posts-entry fbox blogposts-list post-6743 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-americorp category-bicycle-2 category-health category-lymphoma category-philosophical category-recovery category-remission category-widowhood">
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<h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/07/30/color-me/" rel="bookmark">Color Me…</a></h2> <div class="entry-meta">
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<span class="posted-on">Posted on <a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/07/30/color-me/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published updated" datetime="2020-07-30T11:20:03-06:00">July 30, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.modeknit.com/author/modeknit/">Annie Modesitt</a></span></span> </div>
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<p>But when I view the future through the reality of TWO cancers, I see a different picture. It’s more out of focus and landmarks are difficult to see. I can see death around the edges, where before it was so far ahead of me that it didn’t seem real. </p>
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<article id="post-6735" class="posts-entry fbox blogposts-list post-6735 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-health category-leukemia category-recovery category-uofm-hospital">
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<h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/07/15/detour/" rel="bookmark">Detour</a></h2> <div class="entry-meta">
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<span class="posted-on">Posted on <a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/07/15/detour/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published updated" datetime="2020-07-15T14:56:46-06:00">July 15, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.modeknit.com/author/modeknit/">Annie Modesitt</a></span></span> </div>
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<p>I know I’m improving every day, I can feel it – I can SEE it in the amount I’m able to do! But, as is usual for me, it’s not fast enough. Which is silly, because my recovery is exactly at the right speed for me. I need to just relax and enjoy the pace my body’s set for itself.</p>
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<article id="post-6727" class="posts-entry fbox blogposts-list post-6727 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-bicycle-2 category-family category-health category-leukemia category-philosophical category-recovery category-travel category-vyxeos">
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<h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/07/03/anti-climax/" rel="bookmark">Anti Climax</a></h2> <div class="entry-meta">
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<span class="posted-on">Posted on <a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/07/03/anti-climax/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2020-07-03T10:13:35-06:00">July 3, 2020</time><time class="updated" datetime="2020-07-03T10:29:45-06:00">July 3, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.modeknit.com/author/modeknit/">Annie Modesitt</a></span></span> </div>
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<p>None of us will beat death, it will get us in the end. I’ve become much more at peace with that truth over the last few years. I’ve lost so many folks who are close to me, maybe that’s why I have such a strong desire to see a grandchild. Or maybe it’s just that I love babies. </p>
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<article id="post-6709" class="posts-entry fbox blogposts-list post-6709 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-caregiving category-leukemia category-lymphoma category-philosophical category-recovery category-remission">
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<h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/06/21/cancer-dancer/" rel="bookmark">Cancer Dancer</a></h2> <div class="entry-meta">
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<span class="posted-on">Posted on <a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/06/21/cancer-dancer/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2020-06-21T07:44:47-06:00">June 21, 2020</time><time class="updated" datetime="2020-06-22T14:13:59-06:00">June 22, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.modeknit.com/author/modeknit/">Annie Modesitt</a></span></span> </div>
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<p>While I was going through treatment for Lymphoma I made the decision that once I was in remission I would get a tattoo. The image I wanted was a Charles Schulz character named ‘Number Three’ who dances onstage in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. She’s one of a pair of twins (her sister is named,…</p>
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<article id="post-6692" class="posts-entry fbox blogposts-list post-6692 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-family category-health category-philosophical category-recovery category-remission category-widowhood">
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<h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/06/14/hope/" rel="bookmark">Hope</a></h2> <div class="entry-meta">
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<span class="posted-on">Posted on <a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/06/14/hope/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published updated" datetime="2020-06-14T02:55:58-06:00">June 14, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.modeknit.com/author/modeknit/">Annie Modesitt</a></span></span> </div>
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<p>The quarantine has been easier for me than most folks I know. I can’t really get out and do much, I’m relegated to my bed, or my recliner, for all of the time each day that I’m not moving from room to room. With so many folks in a similar situation (stuck at home) I feel less alone in my recovery, it’s as if the whole world is recovering with me.</p>
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<article id="post-6675" class="posts-entry fbox blogposts-list post-6675 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-bicycle-2 category-current-projects category-drug-interaction category-health category-leukemia category-lymphoma category-recovery category-remission">
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<h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/05/28/catching-up/" rel="bookmark">Catching Up</a></h2> <div class="entry-meta">
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<span class="posted-on">Posted on <a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/05/28/catching-up/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2020-05-28T11:44:16-06:00">May 28, 2020</time><time class="updated" datetime="2020-05-28T11:58:06-06:00">May 28, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.modeknit.com/author/modeknit/">Annie Modesitt</a></span></span> </div>
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<p>And there it is. The hardest thing in the world to deal with, the thing that makes the cancer feel like a personal attack at times, instead of just an unfortunate roll of the dice. Missing Gerry is the hardest thing I do, I know it’s so hard for the kids and for his family back in NY, too. The fact that I had 12 years to contemplate and prepare for his leaving us does make it a bit easier, it really does. But at times the pain of knowing I’ll never hug that dear man again is almost overwhelming.</p>
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<article id="post-6663" class="posts-entry fbox blogposts-list post-6663 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-baking category-bicycle-2 category-current-projects category-health category-knitting category-leukemia category-recovery category-remission category-uofm-hospital category-vyxeos">
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<h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/04/28/new-wheels/" rel="bookmark">New Wheels!</a></h2> <div class="entry-meta">
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<span class="posted-on">Posted on <a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/04/28/new-wheels/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published updated" datetime="2020-04-28T08:54:34-06:00">April 28, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.modeknit.com/author/modeknit/">Annie Modesitt</a></span></span> </div>
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<p>The difference in how I’m doing right now is nothing short of a minor medical miracle. Or maybe the miracle is my kid’s love, and all the good food and REAL rest that I’ve been getting at home! Yesterday my doctor was pretty much astounded at how much better my hemoglobin and platelets are doing. …</p>
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<article id="post-6656" class="posts-entry fbox blogposts-list post-6656 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-bmt category-chemo category-codoxm-ivac category-health category-leukemia category-minnesota category-remission category-uofm-hospital category-vyxeos">
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<h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/04/10/two-weeks-at-home/" rel="bookmark">Two Weeks At Home</a></h2> <div class="entry-meta">
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<span class="posted-on">Posted on <a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/04/10/two-weeks-at-home/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published updated" datetime="2020-04-10T11:58:32-06:00">April 10, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.modeknit.com/author/modeknit/">Annie Modesitt</a></span></span> </div>
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<p>But I have a big decision to make. Should I get a Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT). Gerry had one in 2007, and they’re NOT FUN. It would mean going back into the hospital for at least 30 days, and right now the best doner that we’ve found so far is Max! There are millions of doners in the registry, though, so they’re searching to see if there might be a better match.</p>
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<article id="post-6651" class="posts-entry fbox blogposts-list post-6651 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-food-recipes category-health category-leukemia category-lymphoma category-uofm-hospital">
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<h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/02/29/nadir/" rel="bookmark">Nadir</a></h2> <div class="entry-meta">
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<span class="posted-on">Posted on <a href="https://www.modeknit.com/2020/02/29/nadir/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published updated" datetime="2020-02-29T14:00:13-06:00">February 29, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.modeknit.com/author/modeknit/">Annie Modesitt</a></span></span> </div>
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<p>Today’s experiment is a roast beef sandwich that Andy’s bringing. I’m hoping the smell is not too strong, and that I can get a good bit of the sandwich down!</p>
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