quotes.json

[
  "I don't like the opera. What are they singing for? Who sings? You got something to say, say it. (Jerry - The Opera)",
  "We're friends. If I'm going to be uncomfortable, you gotta be uncomfortable too! (George - The Opera)",
  "You know, it is so sad. All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons. (Elaine - The Opera)",
	"Nobody drives like me. Nobody. I'm doing things in this car, you have no idea they're going on. (George - The Parking Spot)",
	"Look, you don't understand. There was shrinkage. (George - The Hamptons)",
	"Six years I've had this t-shirt. It's my best one. I call him Golden Boy. (Jerry - The Marine Biologist)",
	"You can't eat this soup standing up, your knees buckle. (Jerry - The Soup Nazi)",
	"Shhh! I gotta focus. I'm shifting into soup mode. (George - The Soup Nazi",
	"Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in! (George - The Virgin)",
	"Bald men with no jobs and no money who live with their parents don't approach strange women. (George - The Opposite)",
	"If it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books. (George - The Bookstore)",
	"I'm like a commercial jingle. First it's a little irritating. Then you hear it a few times. You're humming it in the shower. By the third date, it's 'Buy Mennen!' (George - The Chicken Roaster)",
	"The female body is a work of art. The male body is utilitarian. It's for gettin' around. It's like a Jeep. (Elaine - The Apology)",
	"If you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze, you shouldn't say 'God bless you.' You should say 'You're so good looking!' (Jerry - The Good Samaritan)",
	"Oh my god. An affair. It's so adult. It's like with stockings and martinis and William Holden. On the other hand, it probably wouldn't cost me any money. (George - The Good Samaritan)",
	"George, letting my emotions out was the best thing I've ever done. Sure, I'm not funny anymore, but there's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations. (Jerry - The Serenity Now)",
	"Hey Silvio, look at Jerry here, prancing around in his coat with his purse. Yup, he's a dandy. He's a real fancy boy! (Kramer - The Reverse Peephole)",
	"I love that bathroom. It's got that high-high toilet. I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building. (George - The Butter Shave)",
	"The second button literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it. It's too high. It's in no-man's land. You look like you live with your mother. (Jerry - Good News, Bad News)",
	"Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push. You gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over. (Jerry - The Voice)",
	"You know, if you take everything I've done in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent. (George - The Muffin Tops)",
	"A chef who doesn't wash is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help. He wants to get caught. (Jerry - The Pie)",
	"I usually last about ten minutes on the stairmaster. Unless, of course, there's someone stretching in front of me in a leotard, then I can go an hour. That's why they call it the stairmaster. You get up there and you stare. (Jerry - The Implant)",
	"Why would I be a leg man? I don't need legs. I have legs. (Jerry - The Implant)",
	"And by the way, they're real and they're spectacular. (Sidra - The Implant)",
	"His mother was a mudder... His father was a mudder. (Kramer - The Subway)",
	"I know Jerry. He's not a Nazi. No. He's just neat. (Elaine - The Limo)",
	"I'm much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs. (George - The Engagement)",
	"She needs a little tenderness. She needs a little understanding. She needs a little Kramer. (Kramer - The Library)",
	"Instead of saying 'Costanza', he'd say 'Cantstandya, Cantstandya'. (George - The Library)",
	"You know what? They got the fudge on the bottom - ya see? That enables you to control your fudge distribution as you're eating your ice cream. (Jerry - The Airport)",
	"I could have been a millionaire!! I could have been a FRAGRANCE millionaire!!! (Kramer - The Pick)",
	"Men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie if there's even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off. (Elaine - The Movie)",
	"So when somebody has B.O., the O usually stays with the B. Once the B leaves, the O goes with it. (Jerry - The Smelly Car)",
	"You don't understand what I'm up against. This is a force more powerful than anything you can imagine. Even Superman would be helpless against this kind of stench. (Jerry - The Smelly Car)",
	"Hey, I'm telling you, the pig-man is alive. The government has been experimenting with pig-men since the 50's. (Kramer - The Bris)",
	"Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship. (George - The Puffy Shirt)",
	"Stress is very damaging to the epidermis. (George - The Puffy Shirt)",
	"My whole life was ruined because of the puffy shirt. (George - The Puffy Shirt)",
	"You're a massage teaser. (Jerry - The Masseuse)",
	"How about six? Six is good. You got a problem with six? (Jerry - The Lip Reader)",
	"It's Risk. It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives. (Jerry - The Label Maker)",
	"I need a new look. I'm stagnating. (Kramer - The Scofflaw)",
	"So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen, you see an eclair in the receptacle, and you think to yourself, 'What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.' (Jerry - The Gymnast)",
	"Booing and hissing are not part of the show. You boo puppets. You hiss villains in silent movies. (Jerry - The Fire)",
	"It's a shame his parents didn't get divorced thirty years ago. He could've been normal. (Jerry - The Chinese Woman)",
	"You've got a lot to learn about pancakes. (Jerry - The Wife)",
	"The key to eating a black and white cookie, Elaine, is you want to get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet, still, somehow racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie. All our problems would be solved. (Jerry - The Dinner Party)",
	"Did you just see what happened here? Did you see the way she pointed at the check? She gave me the finger! (George - The Pledge Drive)",
	"I saw someone on the street eating M&M's with a spoon. (Jerry - The Pledge Drive)",
	"I really should be getting back to my fiance. We had this big fight yesterday and, well, she wants to know my secret code. I don't know, I can't tell her. The funny thing is, I would really love to tell someone because it's killing me. You want to know what it is? It's Bosco. You know, the chocolate syrup. I love that stuff. I pour it in milk. It's my favorite drink. (George - The Secret Code)",
	"I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning. (George - The Nap)",
	"Jerry! Jerry, I'm trapped under my desk. Steinbrenner's in the room. You gotta help me! (George - The Nap)",
	"The jerk store called, they're running out of you! (George - The Comeback)",
	"I'm going with jerk store. Jerk store is the line. Jerk store! (George - The Comeback)"
]